Be. Knowing! by Kayla May Paz Suarez

I have dreams: Mine and others. I carry the weight of those whispers in my head. Sometimes they spill out like songs and dances or under the breath mumblings.

Ancestors shouting in my ears and visiting me in those dreams, accompany me on my daily walks, reminding me of this human sanctity.

To my elders, I am breaking tradition. Living blasphemy by acknowledging the shadows. To my peers, I live in a fantasy.

I consider it a blessing. Is it foresight? Or the opposite-

an ability to see past my own life. Before all of this happened in the physical place and body. Before I was influenced by the outside world.

I’ve been here before.

Carefully calculating all of my steps, listening to all the stories so that I could focus on my

rest

here.

The world has always felt like foreign place.

A pitstop on what might be a never ending journey back to self.

There’s always been shame around this knowing.

Deep down it comforts me to know I'm never truly alone.

(Photo credit: Ed Moreno)

Kayla May Paz Suarez is a Pilipina American multidisciplinary artist. For more of their content, follow them on Instagram (@5ftlumpia).

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