Forevermore by Nadiyah Hussain

The crescent moon coruscates in golden yellow

Like the eyes of the wounded wolf who wept

Darling, you were supposed to be my beginning

Not another tragic ending to an aged crooked tale

You scare the hell out of me but I still adore you

I know I shouldn’t have but I hung up on you

Couldn’t take all the lies, all the cries, all the pain

Once my favourite face is a face I now fear, a face I can’t face

Honey, I would have loved you forevermore

I dreamt of being your wife

Would have held your hand through any storm

Kissed your thirty-four scars

My hurt is not something for you to collect

Stop keeping score just keep me in your arms

Say you’re sorry, say it won’t happen again

The mystical moon glistens in tawny bronze

Like the eyes of the frightened fox who fled

Baby, you were supposed to be my everything

Not another name on my long list of abandonment

I hate the way you’re scared of me but I still adore you

Lost my mind when you hung up on me, I pictured the worst

Said you lied, collapsed and cried, struck myself with all this pain

I was once your favourite face so face me now don’t face away

Honey, I would have loved you forevermore

I dreamt of being your knight

Would have held you when you got scared

Kissed your twenty-five scars

Baby, I would never collect your hurt

I’m not keeping score just let me keep you in my arms

Let me say I’m sorry, say it won’t happen again

Oh darling, nothing’s right, deadly hours of fight and flight

Your raging words leak poison onto my buried burning bruise

Howls of tortured animosity swipe across my dripping cheeks

Trembling as you hover over me, tell me what will you do next?

Take me back to the summer when you were my buttoned-up babe

I was your lipstick femme, kissing hot fire in the backseat of your car

Crowned you leader of the heavenly haven I built to keep you warm

I replay this pretty reel of perfection whenever our story bleeds red

Honey, I would have loved you forevermore

I dreamt of being your wife

Would have held your hand through any storm

Kissed your thirty-four scars

My hurt is not something for you to collect

Stop keeping score just keep me in your arms

Say you’re sorry, say it won’t happen again

Honey, I would have loved you forevermore

I dreamt of being your knight

Would have held you when you got scared

Kissed your twenty-five scars

Baby, I would never collect your hurt

I’m not keeping score just let me keep you in my arms

Let me say I’m sorry, say it won’t happen again

Honey, I would have loved you forevermore [Honey, I would have loved you forevermore]

I dreamt of being your wife [I dreamt of being your knight]

Would have held your hand through any storm [Would have held you when you got scared]

Kissed your thirty-four scars [Kissed your twenty-five scars]

My hurt is not something for you to collect [Baby, I would never collect your hurt]

Stop keeping score just keep me in your arms [I’m not keeping score just let me keep you in my arms]

Say you’re sorry, say it won’t happen again [I’m sorry, it won’t happen again]

Honey, I will love myself forevermore

I dream of being happy

I will hold myself through any storm

Kiss my twenty-five scars

My hurt is not something to collect

No more keeping score, just keeping myself in my arms

I tell myself I’m sorry, say it won’t happen again

Nadiyah Hussain [she/her] is a proud queer woman of colour and a fierce intersectional feminist. She uses her passion for writing to weave stories and poems that are often personal and political.

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