I Didn't Choose This House by Yuuki Saitoh
Updated: Sep 2, 2021
My emotions are a glass house
One that glitters in the sun
Reflecting off the panes with which it’s tiled
Walls clear enough to showcase
Wonders that were beyond wild
Of course, I never questioned it as a child
It was merely a structure piled
Overtop of me
I didn’t choose this house, you see
It was given to me
Apparently, nobody wants to deal with a glass house
The transparency is troublesome
The oversensitivity, cumbersome
It breaks too easily to have any fun, and
It inconveniences everyone
“People will eventually leave you, one by one”
I know, but there’s nothing I could’ve done
I didn’t choose this house, you see
It was given to me
My emotions are often a broken glass house
Assaulted by the world around me and
Told that my wounds were not real
Too many broken shards leaving cuts and scars
That are impossible to conceal
I’m too numb to feel, but
People staring means I can’t let anything
Be revealed
“You’re a fool for not building your house out of steel”
I didn’t choose this house, you see
But it’s slowly killing me
Nobody showed me how to treat my glass house
But when somebody finally did
I learned that the qualities I hated could be
More positively reframed
Sensitivity and fragility were not design flaws but,
Features that should be tenderly maintained
Transparency is not something for which I can be blamed, when
Walls are paned with glass colored by
Blood, tears, and experience gained
What was once shamed can now be reclaimed
And while I did not choose this house, you see
I can own it in a way that better suits me
My emotions are now a glass home
One that glitters in the sun,
Quiets when it rains, and sparkles like a gemstone
Inviting in those who would care for the
Delicate panes that are now toned and have
Come into their own
Panes that are easily seen through because
There is nothing to hide when everything can be shown
This, of course, means
Everything to me as I’ve grown, as I’ve
Finally made this complicated structure my own
You see,
I didn’t choose this house
It was gifted to me.

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